How to ask someone to dance--hint, "It's easier than it was in high school!"

Dancing...Being Asked: (males and females equally ask for dances). If you are asked to dance and you know the person knows how to dance, just say, "Sure!" If you think the person does not know how to dance, and you do, try having some patience and give it a try. Depending on your experience with other dances, you may have to change gears and try doing what they are doing instead of trying to force them to adapt to you. If it is unbearable, excuse yourself and say something like, "I would be happy to dance with you when you take lessons to learn this dance." Do Not Say "You Suck!, Take a Lesson"! and storm off the floor. If you get tired of this type of excursion, before the dance ask "What Kind of Dance"... and if they reply, "You know! What they are doing!" and he/she points to another couple dancing, most likely, they don't have a clue... Just say something like "I am Sorry, I feel like sitting this one out." If they say something like, "Well, West Coast Swing, what would you like to do?"most likely they have some clue. If someone is inappropriate with you on the dance floor during a dance, just stop and give a warning such as "I do not appreciate what you are doing" and continue on dancing. If it continues, just stop dancing and walk away... No need to say a thing.

Beginners Asking: Asking someone to dance can be a nightmare, especially if you are new. You don't have much confidence, you are in a new environment, and don't know many patterns/steps. The turn-down rate can seem quite high at times. If you get turned down, try not to take it personally, it may have nothing to do with you what-so-ever, however, your unpleasant reaction may be a reason for future turn downs. Just try to smile and say, "Well, maybe another time then!" and walk away. Watch the tone of your voice. If you are getting turned down alot, go ask your teacher what the problem may be (which at times can be very difficult or unpleasant for the teacher to do in circumstances such as deodorants) and accept what they say-- remember "You Asked". If it is just a newbie thing, ask if they wouldn't mind introducing you to a few experienced people who would dance with you to get you started. However do not abuse this, ask the person only once a night for awhile. When in group classes during the rotations ask some of the folks if you could have a dance after class and try some of the steps you learned. When you see them out dancing, ask them to dance.

Interrupting: Most people feel that if you are at a "Dance Club" you are available for a dance if not dancing. However, dancing is a social thing and conversations are a big part of being social. Interrupting them may seem rude and your invitation to dance may be un-wanted by them at that time. If the person you want to dance with looks involved in the conversation, wait till later to ask. If it just can't wait, go stand by the couple at a safe distance (as to not interrupt with your body) and try to make eye contact. When they make eye contact, extend your hand and say something like "Is this a Bad Time to ask for a dance?" If they agree, acknowledge the other person they were speaking to and say something like "Thank you, I will bring him/her right back!" If they don't accept, give your apologies and walk away. Another form of interruption which is not as obvious is asking someone to dance who has just finished dancing with another, the dance starts and ends in the same location, and there you are. Wait till the person walks them off the floor, back to their seat or the person you want to ask walks away from the previous dancer. If it is a real popular person that gets asked time after time, you may have to wait. Running up and jumping in front of another person that is about to ask for a dance is very, very rude and unwelcomed, even though they may accept ... DON'T DO IT!

Dance Cards or Pre-Booking:
This is not usually a wise thing to do, people often forget thru-out the night. However if there is a particular song you would like to dance to with a particular person, make sure they are aware of it first and agree to it. That way, you avoid embarrassment for them or others if someone asks them to dance and they need to say, "No, thanks, I'm committed on this tune." If you had pre-booked a club lesson with a teacher or a dance with another person and they are in a conversation, it is still not a license to interrupt a conversation, or to jump in front of another person attempting to acquire a dance. Just stand-by in their area and try to make eye contact. It is now up to them if they want to acknowledge your prior request. They will either do so or tell you otherwise. A 'pre-booking' gives you no rights to dance to that song with that person; they may and usually do change their minds during the course of the night.

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